So, you want to have amazing sex?

Let’s start by reframing amazing sex to satisfying sex. Not everyone’s “amazing” is going to look the same - and that goes for an amazing meal, amazing workout, or amazing piece of art; everyone’s preferences are different! That’s why aiming for satisfying sex is going to help you and your partner(s) achieve a fulfilling sex life.

It’s imperative to figure out what kind of sex feels great, intriguing, or exciting to you. Now, don’t get me wrong - this is absolutely a process. This also means figuring out what you don’t like.

Not sure where to start? Some options are masturbating, visualizing, watching porn, chatting with your partner(s) or friends about sex, or reading erotica (and much more!). These activities can be done solo or with partners - there’s no “right” way to figure out what you like. Another option is to try experimenting with new (safe) ways of having sex - solo or partnered!

The most important tip of all - COMMUNICATE! I cannot stress this enough - communication is KEY to satisfying sex.

Communicating about sex can also be one of the scariest, most vulnerable parts of being in a sexual relationship. Most of us were not taught how to effectively discuss our sex lives, let alone broach this topic with someone who has possibly seen you naked.

Make sure you are not just communicating with partners, but also checking in with yourself. Check in on all pieces of yourself to see if the sex you’re having (or considering having!) feels good. Then, have a conversation outside of the bedroom to communicate this to your play partners. Cultivating a strong basis of trusting, safe, and open conversations with your play partners will allow you to expand your eroticism, and have even more satisfying sex.

Note: All of the above can be a difficult process, especially if you are experiencing gender dysphoria, struggles relating to your body, or have experienced trauma. If you feel like you would benefit from support, I highly encourage you to reach out to a trained mental health professional.

To schedule a consultation with me, please contact me here.

If you are experiencing domestic or sexual violence or abuse, please call 800-799-7233.