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Buying Your First Sex Toy

So, you're thinking about buying your first sex toy... but you're not sure where to start! There are so many options, and sometimes the idea of going to a sex store can just be too overwhelming. Keep reading for my suggestions on how to approach buying your first.

If you already have a masturbation practice with your hands, I want you to think about what kind of touch feels good for you. We can build on that knowledge when choosing your sex toy.

One of the most important things I will tell you is that lube is key! If you are going to be inserting anything, anywhere, you want to have a sufficient amount of lube to help make sure the process is smooth and painless. Now, there are different kinds of lube! It's important to select the right one for the kind of play you will be having.


I encourage you to pick up a lube that is designed for sexual play and not use something you might already have around the house, like coconut oil or olive oil. Lube designed for sex is perfectly safe to put inside your body, and will make the experience that much sweeter! You can even use it without toys - which I highly suggest! Lube can be used with partnered, solo, or toy play - just choose the one that works best for that scenario.

Water-based Lube

This lube is great for most sex toys (especially silicone sex toys!), condoms, and dental dams. If you only pick up one kind, I suggest this one.

Silicone Based Lube

Silicone lubes are nice and slick, and pair well with condoms (can be great for anal play!). They do not pair with silicone or silicone-blended toys - so be aware of that!

For Vulva Havers

There are so many styles of vibrators for vulva owners to utilize! It might take some exploration in figuring out which style works for you. Some are clit-focused, others are insertable, and some are both. When choosing one (or more!), consider what style of touch already feels good in your solo or partnered play.

This style of flat vibrator can be a great addition to both solo and partnered play. This is not an insertable vibe, and can be used wherever else on the body you'd like!

This is a clit-focused vibe that will provide a little more power than the previous one. It's also a bit more affordable, and waterproof!

If you're looking for something that includes both clit-stim and insertable, a rabbit-style vibrator is a great choice. There are so many different models of these, but this could be a great first option! Remember to use lube to insert.

For Penis Havers

This is a great option for people with penises. It's reusable and super easy to clean!

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